The Onion Bagel is a satirical column for The Statesman. Not to be dramatic, but I’m starting to rethink all my life choices.

The Onion Bagel is a satirical column for The Statesman. Entry #1: Monday, April 21, 2025 – The Disappearance It is with faux solemnity and very real confusion that I must record a dark moment in our ...

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, a former Fox News host and National Guardsman, has attempted to reframe the role of the ...

Katy Perry responded to an Onion headline that joked she would soon release a song called "Stop Making Fun Of Me."It hasn't ...

Talking to Kelly Clarkson, the "Saturday Night Live" alum also admits she's lied to her kids about bad sketches she wrote The ...

This is me at 2 years old … riding on the tractor with my grandpa, William H Grasmick, at his Grass Acre Dairy Ranch in Parma ...

Given a federal election campaign, whiplash over tariffs, a mercurial leader to the south, plus a steady stream of everything ...

It takes people like Matt who can fight for his zombie-diarrhea movie in a room full of literal life savers to oil the wheels ...

The Onion began with a group of scrappy Gen Xers who wanted to poke fun at mainstream news. It's evolved into an at times ...

The loss was a surprising one, and Marilyn was “quite devastated.” “We see her later at her home, we get a glimpse at the peeling back the onion, the layers, the persona that she’s very carefully ...

In a way, “The White Lotus” is an “anti-murder mystery,” choosing to spotlight the self-destructive journey building up to an inevitable death in the finale, all while attempting to deliver social ...

Silicon Valley has witnessed the birth of countless startups, each promising innovations to reshape the future, yet occasionally one emerges with a premise so provocative it is difficult to ...